Wednesday, July 23, 2014

And So I Return

    The reply to the email was swift and abrupt.  I opened it with a lot of hesitation.  It is official that I will be going back to third grade.  I still honestly don't know how I feel.  I would love to have kept the job from last year until retirement (about 5 years).  It was filled with challenge and excitement.  It was - quite honestly - a boat load of work.  Seriously.  But I loved every second of it.  Even the early morning duty in the cold weather.  It was different and kept me on my toes.  I don't do change well, never have, and the way the schedule changed around throughout the year was a challenge.  But I adjusted.  I began last year with a pledge to myself to not complain about one thing at school.  That is not to say my brother who lives with me didn't get a few ear fulls.  I pledged to be positive and cheerful.  I did it too.  I won't say negatives never crept in, but I fought them away diligently.  Now I have to continue this personal challenge this year.
     I guess I thought I didn't know which direction I wanted to go.  But I think I was wrong.  I wanted so badly to continue what I had started last year.  I find myself fighting depression about the move.  I know I must shake this free.  Waking up in the middle of the night thinking about the days ahead is not healthy.  I will make this a wonderful year.  I will try to get a hold of my emotions.  Just not this second, just not today. 

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