Sunday, October 27, 2013

Revisiting my visions

     All summer I thought and dreamed about this new job of mine.  I read a lot of inspiring books.  My goal was to enrich children's lives by introducing them to all of the wonderful pieces of literature I could find.  To make them fall in love with books.  I envisioned lengthy discussions about books and characters and . . . well, you get the unrealistic picture.  I know it sounds a bit foolish, at least as I sit here typing it does to me.  Last year's group spoiled me.  They became so excited about books and reading.  But I had them all day, every day.  With around 50 minutes for a group it isn't as easy as I had hoped.  And there is also that small matter of phonics.  My kids desperately need phonics and word attack skills.  So that is where I spend most of my day.  That's alright.  I still find a few moments at the beginning or close of the class to read to them something awesome.  At least I hope they find it awesome. 
     Another one of my visions was the job of teaching kindergarten and to some extent first grade.  Neither areas had I ventured into before.  I dreaded it with a passion.  Not the kids, of course.  They are so precious.  I am not a kindergarten teacher by any stretch of imagination.  I lack that - talent - those ladies in my building possess.  So I dreaded it.  Aha!  Something has changed.  I can do this!  Seriously.  I am feeling good about my 50 minutes instead of dreading it.  I still do not have the desire or ability to go all day with kindergarten, but I am having fun with them.  I also am seeing some progress!  M can recognize his ABCs!  We are learning our color words.  I am learning.  Every day, something new.
     I knew all summer my favorite group would be fifth grade.  They would get the idea of great books and we could communicate about the books.  Uh . . . vision changing again.  They are an extremely hard group.  I have two groups.  One is just what I had hoped for - fun and challenging.  The other . . . just challenging.  They have challenged me every step I take - verbally challenged me.  I had heard they were a tough crew, but had no idea.  Beginning this week, the principal has worked it out so that the 4 worst toughest challenges are going to be out of my room, in an effort to allow the others a chance to get what they need without me policing all the time.  I was able to plan some fun things for this coming week that I haven't tried to do before.  Wish me luck!
     One vision that has not been altered is that I knew I would love this job.  If anything, I had no idea how much I could possibly love this job.  After some major stresses last year that had me clinging to the idea of leaving, I am finding each day full of such enjoyment.  I cannot relate how much this has meant to me.  It was as I jokingly say "just what the doctor ordered"!