And So I Return

    The reply to the email was swift and abrupt.  I opened it with a lot of hesitation.  It is official that I will be going back to third grade.  I still honestly don't know how I feel.  I would love to have kept the job from last year until retirement (about 5 years).  It was filled with challenge and excitement.  It was - quite honestly - a boat load of work.  Seriously.  But I loved every second of it.  Even the early morning duty in the cold weather.  It was different and kept me on my toes.  I don't do change well, never have, and the way the schedule changed around throughout the year was a challenge.  But I adjusted.  I began last year with a pledge to myself to not complain about one thing at school.  That is not to say my brother who lives with me didn't get a few ear fulls.  I pledged to be positive and cheerful.  I did it too.  I won't say negatives never crept in, but I fought them away diligently.  Now I have to continue this personal challenge this year.
     I guess I thought I didn't know which direction I wanted to go.  But I think I was wrong.  I wanted so badly to continue what I had started last year.  I find myself fighting depression about the move.  I know I must shake this free.  Waking up in the middle of the night thinking about the days ahead is not healthy.  I will make this a wonderful year.  I will try to get a hold of my emotions.  Just not this second, just not today. 

HItting send

     I just hit send on an email to my principal.  Now I wait.  I am not sure what I want to hear.  I loved my years in the classroom.  But this past year has been so very special.  I loved just teaching reading (and math after Christmas).  I loved the small but challenging groups.  I even - gasp! - actually liked working with kindergarten.  It was such a breath of fresh air to do something so different after so many years of the classroom routine.  So now I wait.  I have to know.  I don't want to know. 

A Bit of News

     I am not sure I am ready to write this post.  But hopefully it will be good for me.  I just got off the phone with my principal.  It seems I may be heading back to the other end of the building and back to third grade.   I understand all the reasons.  I even see some good things there, but I have to admit I am fighting to be positive.  I will be positive, but it is not coming easily.  I loved this last year more than anything I can say.  It was awesome - so full of blessings.  I must of said a thousand times "if I can just do this til I retire".  He didn't say it was certain, he is trying to find someone, but it looks pretty clear that is where I will be heading.  I am praying that God will place me where I need to be and then bless me.  I did love the classroom.  I just had fallen in love with this position.  I will keep you posted, but please say a prayer this is going to be a good thing.  I haven't cried yet, but I sort of feel the tears on edges of my day.  This has been such a tumultuous summer already, I sort of feel like laughing that this should happen.  Just one more event of the summer of 2014! 

Still here!

      I really intended to write on a much more regular basis.  I just got so busy and well, you know.  I also tend to post more often on my art blog.  I do promise though with the new addition of some more followers to be more diligent.  Promise.
     Right now, there is not a lot going on - school wise.  I am on summer break and usually I spend a lot of time preparing and planning for the next year, but not so now.  I would.  But I am sort of unsure of my role next year.  Kind of hard to plan.  I am going to be in a resource room much like last year.  I will probably be teaching reading and writing this year instead of reading and math.  I am glad for that - math is not my favorite subject.  I love writing.  I don't know whether I will have an entire classroom during our specials time or pull 15 students like last year.  It is all somewhat confusing.  My hope is that I have a smaller number - 15.  I don't see how I am going to make things work (like I want) with 25 - 30 children.  We will see. . .
      As for this past year, I have had the best year ever.  I am truly sorry I haven't written more about it.  It was delightful.  I learned so much and had so much fun!  It was just what I needed to feel inspired again. 
      Thank you for becoming a follower - glad to have some one to "talk" to.  I will post more about this school year as I learn more.  For now, I hope you are having a wonderful summer and please feel free to leave me some sunshine when you visit!

Christmas break

One of the things I was unsure about with my new position was the "fun stuff" I would miss - the Christmas art and parties and such.  This week our building has been filled with holiday merriment.  And as I expected to some degree I did miss it.  Some.  When the halls got crazy or I saw a particularly rowdy group, maybe I thought it wasn't as bad as I had feared to go into my peaceful room for a bit of a retreat. 
    I did have a very busy week in spite of it all.  I invited each class in our building to bring in their entire class for 50 minutes.  I read and played games with the kiddos while the teachers had a few minutes to relax without cherubs.  The teachers enjoyed it and I loved it. 
     Christmas isn't Christmas unless I can read my favorite books.  Seriously.  When I do get around to retiring, I may have to "loan" myself to a school for a holiday read or two.  By the end of the week, I read my 3 favorite books a grand total of 19 times each!!  Oh my.  But it is so much fun. 
     Book number 3 on my favorite list - The Polar Express.  I know they have all seen the movie and heard the book, but it is such a wonderful tale.  I even ring my silver bell at the end to see if they can still hear the magic.  Everyone could, but some of my fifth graders didn't want to admit it.
     Number 2 - and very close to number one, is The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  I really get into this book and use all kinds of voices and act it out.  One of the kids said I sounded like a scary grinch.  Great book!  Many years ago when I first started teaching I wrote Dr. Seuss and asked for his autograph.  He happily obliged with his name and a sentiment to me personally written on Cat in the Hat stationary and . . .in green crayon!!  Now isn't that cool?  It is a prized possession of mine.
     Book number one is my favorite and has no chance of being replaced - The Cajun Night Before Christmas.  I use a very cajun voice and kids love it.  I have read it for about 30 + years.  I have parents who I have taught coming in and asking when I will be reading it and can they come in.  It is a very fun read!
     So there you have it.  I enjoyed my reading time, got to see every child in the school and wish them a Merry Christmas.  Which by the way, I hope you have also.  May your holiday season be richly blessed. 

Blessings

      I mentioned before that I have early morning duty every few weeks.  This was my first time out in the cold weather (and I know it is going to be colder later on in the year).  I have never "done" the cold very well.  So the past week was . . .  uh, less than pleasant.  I am trying to see the positive in everything this year - it is a personal challenge.  One I really needed after the last few years.  So . . . how do I find a positive in shivering?  It's hard.  It got even harder on the day it was not only cold but rainy.  Then I looked up.

      Is that not a beautiful, miraculous sight?  The brushstrokes of my Creator are so evident.  I stood and watched as the sky began to lighten and realized that just seeing this sight, being able to see this sight was positive enough.  I am so blessed.
    Two really great comment came my way this week. They both made my day and filled it with sunshine.  One of the moms who walk her daughter came by and stopped to chat with me on the sidewalk.  I taught her when she was in third grade.  She said they - her and her daughter - had been talking the night before and she told M that one of the things she remembered from being in my room was a book that I had read, The Indian In the Cupboard.  That book has been a favorite of mine for a long time and usually becomes one of my classroom favorites.  But there is something very nice about being remembered for a book!  Thank you, SWH, for my special memory.
    Another book I love (love, love, love!) is The Cajun Night Before Christmas.   It is absolutely great fun to read.  The accent is awesome and the tale itself is great.  We were in class and one of my fifth graders asked if I remembered a student by the name of JB?  The name brought a smile and a few memories.  She said he was her dad.  She told me he asked her to ask me if I still read that book with the funny voice, "you know, the Christmas one".  My answer - as many times as I can find a group to read it to.  When it gets to be Christmas, I have parents stop by my room to find out when I will be reading it! 
     Ah books . . . . I really want my kids to fall in love with them.  I struggle to put phonics and literature in as much of my 50 minutes each day as I can. 

Revisiting my visions

     All summer I thought and dreamed about this new job of mine.  I read a lot of inspiring books.  My goal was to enrich children's lives by introducing them to all of the wonderful pieces of literature I could find.  To make them fall in love with books.  I envisioned lengthy discussions about books and characters and . . . well, you get the unrealistic picture.  I know it sounds a bit foolish, at least as I sit here typing it does to me.  Last year's group spoiled me.  They became so excited about books and reading.  But I had them all day, every day.  With around 50 minutes for a group it isn't as easy as I had hoped.  And there is also that small matter of phonics.  My kids desperately need phonics and word attack skills.  So that is where I spend most of my day.  That's alright.  I still find a few moments at the beginning or close of the class to read to them something awesome.  At least I hope they find it awesome. 
     Another one of my visions was the job of teaching kindergarten and to some extent first grade.  Neither areas had I ventured into before.  I dreaded it with a passion.  Not the kids, of course.  They are so precious.  I am not a kindergarten teacher by any stretch of imagination.  I lack that - talent - those ladies in my building possess.  So I dreaded it.  Aha!  Something has changed.  I can do this!  Seriously.  I am feeling good about my 50 minutes instead of dreading it.  I still do not have the desire or ability to go all day with kindergarten, but I am having fun with them.  I also am seeing some progress!  M can recognize his ABCs!  We are learning our color words.  I am learning.  Every day, something new.
     I knew all summer my favorite group would be fifth grade.  They would get the idea of great books and we could communicate about the books.  Uh . . . vision changing again.  They are an extremely hard group.  I have two groups.  One is just what I had hoped for - fun and challenging.  The other . . . just challenging.  They have challenged me every step I take - verbally challenged me.  I had heard they were a tough crew, but had no idea.  Beginning this week, the principal has worked it out so that the 4 worst toughest challenges are going to be out of my room, in an effort to allow the others a chance to get what they need without me policing all the time.  I was able to plan some fun things for this coming week that I haven't tried to do before.  Wish me luck!
     One vision that has not been altered is that I knew I would love this job.  If anything, I had no idea how much I could possibly love this job.  After some major stresses last year that had me clinging to the idea of leaving, I am finding each day full of such enjoyment.  I cannot relate how much this has meant to me.  It was as I jokingly say "just what the doctor ordered"!